Prince Caspian

"For a time she was so happy that she did not want to speak. But Aslan spoke. 'Lucy,' he said, 'we must not lie here for long. You have work in hand, and much time has been lost today.'
'Yes, wasn't it a shame?' said Lucy. 'I saw you all right. They wouldn't believe me. They're all so—'
From somewhere deep inside Aslan's body there came the faintest suggestion of a growl.
'I'm sorry,' said Lucy, who understood some of his moods. 'I didn't mean to start slanging the others. But it wasn't my fault. But it wasn't my fault anyway, wasn't it?'
The Lion looked right into her eyes.
'Oh Aslan,' said Lucy. 'You don't mean it was? How could I – I couldn't have left the others and come up to you alone, how could I? Don't look at me like that…oh well, I suppose I could Yes, and it wouldn't have been alone, I know, not if I was with you. But what would have been the good?'
Aslan said nothing.
'You mean,' said Lucy rather faintly, 'that it would have turned out all right – somehow? But how? Please, Aslan! Am I not to know?'
'To know what would have happened, child?' said Aslan. 'No. nobody is ever told that.'
'Oh dear,' said Lucy.
'But anyone can find out what will happen,' said Aslan. 'If you go back to the others now, and wake them up; and tell them you have seen me again; and that you must all get up at once and follow me – what will happen? There is only one way of finding out.'"
-C.S. Lewis

An Ideal

I don't look at you expecting something aesthetically pleasing for my own eyes; I look because I want to acknowledge you as a person.

I don't joke with you expecting you to find me witty; I do it to see you smile.

I don't befriend you hoping for something more, or something I can gain; I do it because I love people.

I don't ask you how you are merely to be polite; I ask because I want to know and have an interest in your life.

I don't smile at you to get your attention; I do it because I hope it's contagious.

I don't tell you funny stories so I can promote ME; I tell them so I can see you laugh.

I don't just talk to you because I want something from you; sometimes maybe coming to you for something was the excuse to talk to you...just because I wanted to.

Of course my intentions aren't always that great. I wish they were. But it's definitely something to strive for... It's only fair that I be what I long for in return. A smart friend of mine said recently about community, "True equilibrium happens when we give of ourselves to others, hoping for the same but not requiring it."

meanderings of the mind

We often think we are doing people a favour by reassuring them. We want to help their self-worth...make them feel good about themselves. But how often are we wrong? How often do we say inaccurate things because we're too scared to speak the truth?

I've been thinking lately about my own self-worth and where I may be at these days. I had to be honest with myself and say that I'm probably still not where I want to be or where God wants me to be. But for some reason as I was contemplating all this, my mind went to what people might say or how they would react if I talked about it. I thought about how people so often react (myself included) when faced with the hurtful areas buried in us. Maybe my view of this is flawed, but in my mind I heard..."At least you're not..." or "Most people..." or "That's not as bad as..."

This "conversation" in my head bothered me. How often we smooth things over or pull away when faced with the depths of people's emotions because we don't know what to do or say! I don't want to be convinced that I'm "okay". I don't want to be told that I'm doing great in comparison to others who struggle. I don't want to sweep my uncomfortable emotions under the rug and ignore feelings that I don't know what to do with. I want to the broken before God! I want to be convinced that I am nothing and I need to be on my face in front of a Saviour who was a King but humbled Himself and died on a cross to save people who so rarely remember to glorify His name!

Maybe the knowledge of my lack of worth in the key to discovering my TRUE worth.

Hope this makes sense... feel free to tell me if it doesn't! haha