Thursday, October 04, 2007

Facade

Masks. How many of us use them? Sometimes? On a regular basis? What is real anymore? Who is real? People ask questions, not because they value your opinion, but because it somehow makes them feel good(eg. intelligent, thoughtful). People cover up insecurity with such things as indifference, arrogance, putdowns.

I'm tired of letting the world, both Christian and non-, tell me that I can't BE a certain way!

If I cry, someone might see that and know things sometimes touch me deeply or make me sad.

If I jump up and down like a silly school girl, people might realize that sometimes I feel excitement I can barely contain.

If I'm not careful to hide behind a false laugh or smile, people might realize there are things that make me angry.

Why must I apologize for exercizing my God-given emotions? Why do we hide them and push them away? Sometime my feelings are hurt. Sometimes I feel disappointed, rejected, unloved, and angry... as well as, happy, excited and other such good emotions! (haha)

NOTE: This post, like all of my other posts, is also directed at myself as I think of all the times I hide my tears by closing a door or avoiding eye-contact... or wait until I'm alone to spin in circles in joy... I'm such a silly girl.... I pray God will strip my masks, leaving me vulnerable. I don't look forward to the pain, but the joy of being myself and knowing with certainty that I am loved by God for who I am is worth the battle.