Aha!!

So, I was doing the usual the other day... thinking, that is :P... I guess I was being kinda introspective and thinking about my life and I had some random thought about how I figured I was moving towards the place where God wanted me. But as soon as I thought it, I realized how wrong I was. I keep feeling like I have this goal to attain. When I'm done school, I'll be there. When I have a family and a job, I'll be there. But I immediately checked myself and thought, I am where God wants me to be right NOW! Yes, I am growing. Yes, I am moving. But I can't wait to BE something or someone tomorrow. This is it! This is life! And I'm happy to be here, in this time, in this place...

Change

Why is it that every time I feel a certain emotion I think it's going to last forever?
When I really think about it, I find it funny how hard it is for me/us (I don't want to assume this is everyone so I'll just talk about me... this IS my blog after all) to be outside myself and my feelings. I don't do well with change. No matter how awesome I think the change is! (Again, I don't pretend to be alone in this! haha) So it's a bit of a rollercoaster until I'm established. First I think the excitement will never end. Then I think the loneliness will never end. The fact that I used to think I wasn't very emotional is kinda laughable now as I oscilate from one extreme to the other.

Crazy life!

Give me Your eyes

by Brandon Heath

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touch down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos

All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what’s underneath
There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work, He's buying time

Pre Chorus / Chorus

I’ve been here a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just move and pass me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
I need a second glance
Give me a second chance
To see the way you’ve seen the people all along

Chorus




This is my prayer lately... that I step out of my short-sighted self and really SEE people!
Question to anyone out there, though. Am I wrong to take care of myself? To be smart with my time and money? Or is whatever "success" I get not worth it? Where is the line between stupidity and love? Is this way easier than I realize?

Psalm 127: 1-2

"Unless the LORD builds the house,

those who build it labor in vain.

Unless the LORD watches over the city,

the watchman stays awake in vain.

It is in vain that you rise up early

and go late to rest,

eating the bread of anxious toil;

for he gives to his beloved sleep."

I've realized lately how much I stress about everything in life. I'm trying to build my house. I'm anxious to keep my options open instead of letting God work and then show me what He has for me. I'm trying to cram a ton of stuff into my days to be fulfilled, to do everything I'm capable of, to have the full life I think God wants me to have. Did I forget to mention I also spend most of my days tired and sick lately? haha

I'm laboring in vain. I'm guarding myself in vain. I'm losing sleep in vain. I don't know what someone else would say about this verse... but this is what it meant to me today.

Bucket List

A blog to be a blog. And a list of things I want to do, in no particular order, before I kick the bucket. haha

1. Work in an orphanage.
2. Write and publish a children's book.
3. Learn how to snowboard (haven't gone back since the day we went and the hill was closed! argh!)
4. Go snorkeling somewhere exotic.
5. Play ultimate frisbee in Saskatchewan (haha! ok, that's a joke...)
6. Own a Jeep TJ ... It will happen! You'll see!
7. Actually read the pile of books I own. :)
8. Go to New York and visit the Brooklyn Tabernacle.
9. Drive back to Briercrest to visit my friends!!
10. Live in the Maritimes... or at least visit frequently.... :(
11. Get my grade 8 piano.
12. Learn how to play guitar... not well, maybe, but well enough for my own enjoyment.
13. See Brian Regan live! (this one is easy since I already have the tickets!)
14. Own a hemp shirt (ok, so i'm running out of ideas off the top of my head...)
15. Oh right. Get married... have kids... that's a big one.

I'll come back when I can think of more.